When I’m upset, the trick I’ve trained myself to do is to notice and question the story I’m telling myself. As humans, we’re really good at making ourselves upset with what we think to be true. And let’s be honest, overthinking is the art of creating problems that don’t exist. This happens because the left side of our brains try to pull together information to build a story we can understand. Even if the story isn’t true, we’ll find a way to cherry-pick the information we have to back up what we feel. This completely human response is called confirmation bias.
Awareness is the core step of recognizing that you’re upset and calling out the story you’re telling yourself. If you can’t back up the story with facts, it’s time to make a decision on whether or not it’s worth feeling how you feel. By choosing to let it go in that moment, you’re honoring yourself because you are choosing to move towards peace.
I highly recommend Byron Katie’s book Loving What Is. She breaks down the inner story and shares other questions she asks herself to get to the bottom of how she’s feeling. I learned there are 3 types of business: mine, yours, and God’s.
When things hit my panic button, I bring my focus back to my breathing and say: “That’s not my business.” It’s my favorite self-check that keeps me on track and the sassiness of it makes me laugh. And there’s so much that’s NOT my business! Letting go of the extra stress and laughing gave me the space to feel more lighthearted about things.
Let me know how this trick helps you!3