I saw a t-shirt online that said: Do not disturb my peace, my joy, my vibe, or ME. After I laughed, I thought, “Wouldn’t it be nice if it were that easy to not have your peace rocked? What if the extent of boundary setting was putting on that shirt to let everyone and the Universe know that today is not the day to mess with me?”
Of course, we know that it doesn’t work like that, so what do you do when someone or something tests you?
When something or someone disturbs my peace, I have to pause to figure out what I’m really feeling. I hear the story playing in my mind about it and then I notice how I really feel. Have you ever listened to the story you’re telling yourself during these moments? You may not even realize it’s happening, but it’s the way our brains make sense of things.
Each uncomfortable feeling has a story wrapped around it. When you think of a complaint, a fear, a disturbance to your peace, a story starts forming around it. The story you’re telling yourself is being built as you think about it … so what are you telling yourself?
Try this: Allow the thoughts to come up, sit with them and notice what you feel. Then use the writing prompt to free write, no judgments or edits, and let it flow from you. Set a timer for 7 minutes and just write. If you start to slow down, use the prompt again and keep flowing.
Writing Prompt: The story I’m telling myself right now is …
Once you identify what the heck is really going on within you, you’ll be able to regain your peace more easily. By being able to name your feelings, this instantly gives us a sense of control over them. And y’all know we all want something positive to control!
The next step is moving. Emotions need motion to leave you. Motion also moves us into the parasympathetic state which calms us down.
Fun fact: Going for a 30-minute walk has the same effect on the brain as an antidepressant.
These disturbances happen to give us a sign that something is off. I believe from the tiny to the giant ones, they’re all important. Each one is a signal letting me know something needs my attention. When I take the cue and honor it, I realize I needed to adjust something. Maybe a boundary wasn’t enforced or maybe a gut feeling was ignored; all of it means something bigger is going on within you.
Taking time to check-in builds self-trust and self-resilience in addition to greater emotional health. So the next time you get disturbed, remember to get curious instead of getting pissed.
Want to learn more on how to deal with disturbances? Come to our next Breathing Room session – our virtual workshops – on September 27th. If you’re reading this after September, know we have our past sessions archived in our Patreon community.
May you feel more peace and joy, my friend! Love you xo6